Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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