A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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