My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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