I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize