you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize