You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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