i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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