so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize