I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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