I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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