It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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