In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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