He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
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Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
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That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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