I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's official drugs can't kill me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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