if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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