; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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