so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize