He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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