My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
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yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
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The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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