imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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