Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All the doctor said was why
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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