I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
