The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize