david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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