Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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