i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize