you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize