An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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