Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize