The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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