is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize