My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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