i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
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So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
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There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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