dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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