He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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