I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize