We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize