a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize