i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize