just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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