Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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