turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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