awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
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i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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