then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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