Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize