dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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