Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize