saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
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