i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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