This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize